Opening Into the Pain

Hey friends,

These past few months have been such a massive shedding.

Really the past few years.

Honestly, the entire experience of being a human.

As most of you know, I left a 20-year career in the beginning of October and am swimming in surrender to the great unknown.

My dad got diagnosed with cancer mid-November.

My beautiful partner and I ended our relationship last week.

In romantic partnership, I’ve been sitting with the energies of love, willingness, and capacity over the past few months.

In our case, the love and willingness to grow together was there in spades, but we were not capable of truly meeting each other where we are.

I realized I could not thrive in the container we had created together. And neither could my amazing partner.

I could see so clearly what we both needed and I knew we had to let each other go.

We often hold onto relationships and stay in spaces long past when we are called to say goodbye.

It takes time to have the courage to see.

And it takes even more time to integrate and then act on our knowing.

Loss is so painful.

We often do all we can to resist it.

My good friend lost her dad last week.

Another good friend’s dad got diagnosed with cancer.

There is so much pain that comes with truly being present in our lives.

It is so complex, but yet such a gift.

As I write this, I am still moving through waves of grief.

Layers continue to fall away as I allow myself to die and be reborn over and over again.

To let all that is not in alignment with my path to fall away.

Yet there is a profound peace, flow, and trust that continues to unfold as I feel all of it and courageously honor what is true.

All that arises when we are in pain are expressions of love.

How lucky are we to have experienced something so beautiful that it hurts like hell when it is gone?

To love ourselves and others that deeply.

To honor the paths we are meant to walk.

To be truly ALIVE.

All that we are going through, can we name it love?

Can we open into the pain and let it transform us?

In deep reverence for life itself and all of you,

Melissa